


A Shining Star

by nefertiti1052



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Bisexuality, Break Up, Dan Howell/Phil Lester Fluff, Domestic Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Drag Queens, F/M, Family Drama, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Homophobia, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Male-Female Relationship, Mentions of Therapy, OC/OC - Freeform, Parenthood, Phandom Reverse Bang 2017, Strangers to Friends, Student!Dan, father!Phil, not dan and phil, the tags are in a random order it's a mess i know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-02-04 03:14:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12761952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nefertiti1052/pseuds/nefertiti1052
Summary: Dan was a poor law student who loved drag queens and hoped to master the Art. Phil was having a hard time in life but wanted to help queers kids to get their life sorted and to be a good father.





	1. Dan's Story

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Phandom reverse bang 2017 #10](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/344049) by degnam.tumblr.com. 



> The Art that inspired this fic is linked, please check it out. I hope I'm doing justice to Manged's beautiful Art. Any feed back will be appreciated.  
> Disclaimer: I don't own Dan and Phil, obvs and this is an au, so I'm not implying anything.  
> Thank you to my betas @kuensukki and Pia who have supported and adviced me right from the start.  
> Finally, thank you to Grammarly because English is not my first language and when I'm tired I make silly mistakes.

Dan had been questioning his sexuality. At age 14 he had realized that while he did find women attractive, it was only as a work of art, he had no actual interest in dating them. 

The realization came to him when he met a new boy in school who made his stomach twist and turn just by looking at him, he was tall and had the most beautiful blue eyes he had ever seen, all paired with a gentle smile and sweet personality. 

He never got the chance to explore this new feeling because the boy in question transferred Schools before they exchanged anything more than a few conversations during class and lunch.

Dan's relationship with his family had always been complicated, his mother loved him but she spent most of her time working. She wasn't really the kind of person to give words of encouragement or to talk about her feelings. His father, on the other hand, had been great with Dan when he was little, always there to play but he never did much actual parenting. 

His parents had married young and the pressure of work and routine had proven to be too much for their relationship. The divorce had been quick and with few arguments, they had arranged for Dan to live with his mother full time. His father would take him on vacations in the summer and would pick him up for the occasional weekend here and there, but with the years Dan had realized his father, Robert, was more of a friend than his actual parent so he didn't really go to him to discuss problems or for guidance. 

At age 16 Dan couldn't handle feeling like he was lying to his mother, he knew she cared even though she never really said it. He felt like he was hiding a big part of him and the fact that he didn't have any friends made it more difficult; he had no one to talk to. So on his birthday, he woke up early and while staring at his bedroom ceiling he made up his mind. He went down to have his traditional birthday breakfast with his mom and while eating his pancakes he hesitantly started to stir the conversation to the topic.

"So, Mum, I’ve heard there is going to be a parade this weekend in Brighton and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me, it sounds like it's going to be fun"

"A parade? What's the occasion? I wouldn't mind going out and enjoying something to eat and music, but I didn't hear anything about it", she said thoughtfully.

"Well, yes... I heard there will be music and dancing. I'm not sure there will be food but we could bring something. A few kids from school are going to be there".

"You still haven't told me what the parade is for and are you sure you don't want to go with your friends? it sounds like an activity you wouldn’t want to have your old mum with you"

"I don't have any friends, Mum. And it's a pride parade..."

"Pride?... Like gay pride?"

“Yes…”

“Oh.... why do you want to go then?” she said with a confused expression.

Dan was silently staring at his lap, unable to actually say it. He knew what question would follow.  
After what seemed forever, she finally asked "Dan, honey, are you gay?"

Dan looked up to his mother with watery eyes, he was terrified of what her reaction would be, but he needed to tell her, to tell someone, yet, he wasn't ready for rejection. He wished she would just know without him having to actually tell her. A whimper escaped his throat.

That put Jane in movement. Feelings were always a difficult topic for her. She wasn't good at talking about them or expressing them, but she loved her child and she could clearly see he was scared and suffering. She got up and went to him, and as she touched his shoulders, he started sobbing. She shushed him as she pet his curly hair.

"Dan... bear, I know I don't usually show how much I love you but I hope you know I really do. Nothing will ever change that".

Dan sobbed harder. 

"Look, I don't have a lot of knowledge on the topic but I’ll go with you to that parade and we’ll see how it goes, if this is the life you chose I want to know what it is all about”.

Dan tried to even out his breathing while his mother held him even though he was much taller than her, he felt so small. It took him a few minutes before he felt that he could continue the conversation.

“It is not a choice. You don’t choose who you love... you just do. It is a part of me... since birth” said Dan softly.

“Ok, I will try to understand everything you tell me”, she said frowning, “just give me time and explain things to me, Dan, I’m not perfect but I’m still your mother and I want you to be happy”.

Dan was unsure of how much his mother would support him knowing his sexual orientation, she seemed to be on his side but also she didn’t seem to understand that he didn’t just wake up one day and decided to stop liking women.

He was hesitant to what was to come but he knew the conversation could have gone a lot worse, he shivered thinking about the horror some LGBTQ+ kids had to go through with their homophobic families.


	2. Ups and Downs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I did well treating the topic with respect, take into consideration the comments against certain lgbtq+ people in this chapter is meant to be from a very ignorant point of view. comments are very welcome, I hope I don't upset anyone. Let me know what you think.

Jane was having a good time chatting with Dan, eating some ice cream, listening to a lot of 80’s classics, watching people dance and celebrate. She knew it was a gay pride parade, but why were they so happy? She knew a few gay people and they seemed to be just as happy or unhappy as anyone else. This was part of her life so she decided to ask Dan about it. 

“Danny, this is a very lovely celebration, thank you for inviting me, but I do have a question, why is everyone so happy, it seems different somehow?”

“Well, here everyone is either gay or a family member, or a supporter of the community, so we know nobody is going to harass us or harm us for being gay”.

She felt her blood running cold, she grabbed both of his arms “Dan, have people been bullying you?” 

Dan looked away, he thought about what to say, was it worth it?. “Look, mum, some of the kids at school have said hurtful things but I wouldn’t call it bullying per se. They haven’t beaten me if that’s what you wanted to know” ‘recently’ he thought.

They saw a lot of people in costumes but when the drag queens started dancing and putting on a show everyone seemed to love it, everyone except his mum that is. 

She frowned and seemed uncomfortable until she looked away. She decided to go get another ice cream, she told Dan she would be right back and left.

While Jane was waiting her turn in an ice cream parlor, she saw a couple of what appear to be gay men looking very happy together, discussing about what they wanted to get and checking frequently to the outside of the shop. She was curious as to what they were looking at until she spotted a tiny dog with a glittery leash tied to a light post, waiting.

They noticed her looking intently so they decided to make conversation.

“Hi, first time? enjoying the parade?” 

“Yes, um... hi, it’s lovely and very colorful”

“I’m Patrick and this is my husband, Carlos”

“Hi! who did you come with?”

“I’m Jane, nice to meet you, I came here with my son, he invited me, I didn’t know he was gay before that, you would think a mother knows her son, but in 16 years I never noticed”

“Oh, what a way to come out, wow, brave kid. How are you feeling about it?”

Jane hadn’t thought about Dan coming out as a brave act but thinking back to the hurtful comments he mentioned and him implying gay people felt more comfortable with other gay people, it was actually a rather bold decision. 

“I think so, do you have any advice for a mother who wants to be supportive and doesn’t know much about the community?”

“Yes,” said Carlos “just be there for him in the outside world there are a lot of horrible people, prejudiced people, people who will discriminate against him based off the fact that they are supposed to be Christians. Depending on who he meets in life he will be happy and supported or he will be forced to stay in the closet because he’d be in danger of losing his job, his friends, or even his own family members, just please, be there for him, you don’t have to be perfect but never alienate him, let him know you are there for him”

“You make it sound like we have a horrible life Carlos, jeez, I’ll tell you about how we met. About fifteen years ago at Uni, we became friends, we had a crush on each other but we were afraid to ruin our friendship because we were clueless and didn’t know it was mutual. Thankfully, SOMEONE had the courage to kiss the other, so we started dating and got married 4 years later, our families were there, it was perfect, and now we have a dog, maybe we’ll have a kid, or adopt, or maybe we won’t, we haven’t decided yet", he said smiling. 

He sighed and after a pause he said "But the thing is, Jane, you have the opportunity to help your son have either one of those lives we talked to you about, the one with support in which you can overcome the problems even if you have a bigoted person in your life, or the one many kids don’t survive. Every time you decide to not support him with his sexuality consider this: Is it worse to have a son, who doesn’t want to give you grandchildren, wants to wear heels or whatever you may be arguing about, or it is worse to lose your son because he cuts you out of his life and you never hear about him until he passes?”

She was silent, lost in thought, she knew she needed to pay attention to whatever problems Dan may encounter but she didn’t know how bad things could get. It was a good thing she came to the parade with Dan as it gave her a new perspective and she now had information to go by.

“Thank you, you are a lovely couple, I hope Dan finds a lovely husband one day”

“I’m sure he will”, said Carlos smiling.

Patrick was looking over her shoulder, Jane turned around to see Dan petting the fluffy dog and smiling like a child.

She smiled, “That’s him”.

Dan came into the shop, “Mum, what’s taking so long? I want ice cream!” he pouted.

“Hi Dan”, said Patrick and Carlos in perfect sync.

“Hi?” said Dan raising his eyebrows.

“I was just talking with this lovely couple and I told them all about you” Jane explained.

“All.about.me?” Dan looked to the side lifting his eyebrows again “Ok” 

Patrick and Carlos laughed at the interaction and congratulated Dan on his coming out, then they got their ice cream, took their dog and left to enjoy the rest of the day.

Jane and Dan decided to eat the ice cream at the beach, on the way there, they saw more people in costumes and drag queens. Dan was carefully watching his mother. She frowned every time she saw a drag queen, eyeing them up and down. The only comment she made was that she liked the shoes one of them wore but she could never use heels that high. 

Jane kept her opinion of drag queens, as Dan had called them, to herself she understood trans people but she couldn’t quite grasp the concept of a man dressing as a woman but not wanting to be a woman while still calling other men dressed as women and themselves “girls”. ‘were they girls or weren’t they?’ 

Dan had mentioned these people liked “the art” of doing drag, they performed on shows and put a lot of effort into it, but if it was a job or a hobby why did they like to go out like that? Loving a person wasn’t a choice, but dressing like that was, at least in her opinion; a very weird choice. 

She was just glad Dan was just gay and not into… ‘that sort of thing’, she didn’t even want to think what people would say about his baby boy, she loved him and didn’t want to see him suffer over people calling him names and making his life more difficult that it would be as a gay person, it just wasn’t safe; thankfully she knew she had nothing to worry about with Dan.

That night Dan couldn’t sleep because he kept reliving the day, how much fun he had but also his mother’s attitude, she didn’t mind any part of the lgbtq+ community except for the queens. This was a problem, he adored them. 

He had explained a few things about the community and tried not to look so excited when he described the art behind the shows, the makeup, the costumes, the possibility to be someone else of your entire creation for a period of time, to be actually free of what society considers normal and go out with the most outrageous looks you could think of, or to be classy and beautiful as well; drag was not only a way of expressing yourself but also the opportunity to be whoever you wanted to be and call yourself whatever you wanted to be called. 

He decided to avoid the topic from the afternoon on because she had mentioned she was relieved that he was 'the normal kind of gay', she had refused to acknowledge his explanations about the difference between being gay and doing drag. He tried to explain in two different occasions that afternoon that drag was not a sexuality and had nothing to do with gender, he had also explained that the concept of “normal” was one of the problems lgbtq+ people encountered day to day; they were discriminated because of not 'fitting in' into what other people thought to be “normal”, trying to impose their morals and perceptions onto other people was just wrong. She didn’t get it at all  
That broke Dan's heart because even though he didn't do drag yet it was starting to become his dream. 

He continued to go to school and avoid talking to people as often as he could as some bullies had caught up to the fact that he was gay and would single him out as often and they could.  
Dan had the theory they were very unsure about their masculinity, had horrible lives at home, or both, after all, why else would they care what he did with his life?. 

He survived high school with only a few “friends” he made in the theatre class, they weren't really close, they spent some time together during rehearsals but not much else. 

Dan never officially came out in his town but he decided he would change that when he went off to Law School. He figured theatre and a potential career as a drag performer would not be a really reliable source of income. Maybe someday he’d be able to chase that dream but right now it just didn't seem possible.  
\------  
By the time Dan left, the relationship with his mother was more open as to who he was as a person and even though she said she supported him, a few conversations about gay rights had left him with a bitter aftertaste. He had felt torn about what that relationship could have been but he decided to let it go, speaking with her on the phone sometimes but never really letting her in again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will post the rest of the chapters I have written today and explain a bit of my situation as of now and tell you about the plans for future chapters, what I have planned already and make a schedule for the updates. Stay tunned


	3. Phil's Story

Phil considered himself quite lucky, he had had a nice upbringing, in a close-knit family with two loving parents in a happy marriage and a brother who was more of a best friend than a sibling. He had a comfortable childhood in a large house in Manchester with everything he had needed and most of the things he had wanted.  
His parents had always asked him how he was doing, helped him in everything they could and made him feel loved.

  
They had been a bit confused when Phil told them he was bisexual as he talked about liking girls often and had an “unhealthy obsession” with Sarah Michelle Gellar as they called it.He didn't think it was such a big deal, it was just who he was, who he felt attracted to, but it was still him, nothing was different. Honestly, he just wanted to ask a boy to prom, what was shocking about that?. He would never forget that conversation.

  
_They were talking in the kitchen while his mother was cooking dinner, having some coffee and sharing what they have been doing all day when Phil decided he needed some advice._

  
_“So… you know, I'm graduating in a few weeks, and we have this Dance thing…” said Phil hesitantly._

  
_“yes, of course, we know about the graduation and “Dance thing”, you've told us about it a few days ago and I think I would have remembered my youngest child is graduating anyway”,  said Katheryn with a playful smile._

  
_Phil sighed exasperatedly “well, anyway… I wanted your input on how to ask someone to go with me as, like, my date” said Phil with a shy smile._

  
_“Ooohh, who is she?” said his father._

  
_“She? What makes you think it's a girl?” Phil said frowning._

_“Oh, is it a boy then?” Said his mother raising her eyebrows._

_Phil's father was silent, witnessing the exchange thoughtfully._

_“Phil, we are your family and we love you, it's just that I didn't know… I've never expected for you to be gay. You seemed to like girls, you know, you don't have to pretend around us, we don't care who you love”._

_“I wasn't pretending, I'm not gay, I'm bisexual. As in I like both women and men” said Phil calmly._

_“Well, son, we love you regardless of who you want to date, we just want you to be happy and to be a decent person as you are now, you have our full support”, said his father seriously._

_“Yes, I think you know how much we love you, we'll be here for you as always”, said his mother patting his hand with a tiny smile. “Now, tell me, how does this work, do you like both sexes equally or how is it? And who is this young man? If we are going to be asking him on a date we need to know what he's like!”_

_Phil burst out into laughter, “You are not asking him, I am, if that is your plan I'll manage on my own, thank you”._

_“You know what I mean, Philip. Don't be_ a _smarty pants with your poor mother”._

_Phil's father was laughing at his family's antics “She is lying, you know. She said she wanted to replace me with a younger model just the other day”._

_Phil's mum swatted her husband playfully with the most loving look Phil had ever seen. He hoped to find someone who would look at him just like that._

  
***********

Phil had been able to explain to his parents that sexuality doesn't work in quantities or exact features, just like gender identity didn’t work like that either; they had been very supportive and were rather curious to learn all this new information.

  
They had very openly supported Phil, they were always bragging to their friends about their gay son, in the general sense and if people got interested in the topic they would go on and on about bisexuality and everything they had learned; they liked explaining these things to people their own age because they thought this kind of small things would make the world a better place, more accepting and peaceful.

  
When he was 18, Phil had gone to University to pursue a degree in English language and linguistics to later continue to a master in video post-production and visual effects. His entire family was overjoyed about Phil’s achievements, they often told him how proud they were of him and how they considered him a model son.

  
By the time Phil was 22, he had finished his masters and the relationship with his parents had got distant because of two very important life events.  
The first one caused a complete change in his life. At first, he wasn't really sure of what to do. He had been going out with a girl for 6 months when she got pregnant even though they were always careful. Neither of them was ready for the news, they had been together holding hands and sitting on the edge of the bathtub in her apartment when the alarm went off and upon checking, they got the news, it was positive.

  
They held each other and cried. When they had finally calmed down they talked for hours and decided to continue with the pregnancy, they couldn't even think of the other options; they might have been scared but they decided that they would have the child.

  
The pregnancy had put stress on the still new relationship and they had decided to break up on friendly terms. Allison, had started to get more and more anxious about actually raising a child, she went to therapy but it didn’t seem to help her come to terms with being a mother, so she suggested they put the baby up for adoption. She was only 5 months pregnant.

  
After the initial shock of the pregnancy news, Phil decided he needed to grow up and be the best father he could be, he was already reading books and making plans. He had been taken aback by the suggestion of giving up the child, hurt, disappointed, offended even. He felt like he needed to protect his child.

It took many conversations, some filled with sadness, some with small arguments and one screaming match, but they had decided that Phil would raise the child and that he would not lie to them about their mother, he would tell them their mother wasn't ready to have children but she had made arrangements for them to have a nice life with Phil and his family, even if she couldn't be a part of it, she had wanted the best for them.

  
Phil's parents were disappointed that Phil had been so reckless as to get a girl pregnant but also they had been excited about the actual prospect of being grandparents. They were outraged that Allison had suggested adoption but finally they settled down when they agreed that Phil would raise the child.

  
They had decided to buy Phil a home for him to raise his little family in. It was a 4 bedroom apartment in Manchester, as he had gotten a job as a video producer and editor for a small company in the city.

  
This apartment was just around the corner from one of the best gay clubs of London. He enjoyed going there with his Uni friends sometimes to have a few drinks, dance and even won a drag queen fashion show on one occasion. That had been one of his best memories from that period of time.

His friends and the occasional party brought a little joy to his life that was very depressing at that moment given the fact that he and Allison had had a tense relationship since their decision so they didn't talk much, they only kept in touch about updates on the pregnancy and doctor's appointments.

  
Phil started going to drag shows in the club around the corner some the weekends as it was an escape from his problems, and he found that he really loved the makeup, the dresses, and the overall drag shows/contests; he started his own little collection of items to do drag, he thought he could turn this into his artistic release.

  
Everything had been contempt up to that fatidic weekend in which his parents showed up uninvited and he had opened the door in full drag. That had been the final straw. They have been confused again but also disturbed. He didn't like the look on their faces at all.

The adoring parents that had been so understanding in the past, now were telling him he couldn't raise a child in that kind of environment; they were ok with his sexuality and if he had been in a different situation they might have accepted it, but they didn't want their grandchild to be raised around such weird individuals.

  
Phil had never been so mad in his entire life, he told them to leave and never come back. He would raise his child alone.

  
They were sad to have such a horrible fight with one of their children and had wanted to talk with Phil but as soon as they said they still thought it was “abnormal”, Phil had hanged up the phone.

  
The next morning he had woken up to 2 email notifications, one from his bank letting him know he got a large amount of money and one from his parents telling him, they wish things were different and that he would be a good father. He didn't know if he believed them.

  
Phil wanted to transfer the money back to them but his child was due in less than a month and he actually needed to buy the things for the baby's room.

  
Having children was more expensive than he thought, not that he had actually given it much thought before this, so as much as he wished to not depend on them like that, he left his pride aside and decided to speed up the furniture shopping and the last details for his baby. He couldn't wait to meet them.

  
Winifred Hope Lester was born on August the 8th of 2008; her father had been the second person to hold her as he cried of happiness. At that moment Allison knew she had made the right choice, their daughter would be loved, she would be happy.

  
2 days later Winnie and Phil accompanied Allison to the taxI waiting outside the hospital. “Raise her well Phil”, she said kissing his lips one last time.

  
“Goodbye my love”, she said kissing Winnie’s little hand. “I’m sorry” her voice cracked.

  
“Good luck Alli, let me know when you get home, ok?”

  
“Ok”, she said with tears rolling down her cheeks.

  
Phil looked as a taxi took the woman who had given him the greatest gift he would ever get away from him and to her parent’s house. He felt his heart break for him and his child as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you guess why i chose that name for the baby? It will be explained in a few chapters if you don't know.


	4. The Friends We Picked Along The Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The portrayal of anxiety is based on my own experience with it, I hope I explained everything properly, in this and in the future chapters. If anything seems off or you disagree with anything let me know.

Dan had his ups and downs and considering his current living situation that was no surprise. He moved from his childhood home to a very tattered flat. The bathroom ceiling completely fell off into the shower one time, there was a gas leak in the hallway and the kitchen sink had to be replaced as it was flooding the entire room, but that was his home now. The lifted paint on the walls was now part of his interior design, or so he said to the few people he took home. 

He lived in freedom, away from his mother's judging eyes but that came with a price. The price was living in a shithole flat and having a part-time job at Tesco to afford it in combination with his student loan. 

He hated law school but he still went to most classes, he ate what he could when he could because he used most of his money on rent and transportation. He considered even getting a bike to save money but he lived quite far from Manchester University and he knew he would never make it, he was a couch potato. 

He considered these things to be a part of life, he was making his own choices but everything else was a mess. 

He thought he could make it, become a lawyer, be a responsible adult, get a nice flat, some suits, work a boring job and live a decent life; that would leave some place to do drag in a club during the weekends. The perfect life except for the fact that he hated law, but it was a sacrifice he was willing to make.  
His plans went sour when he got fired from Tesco and could no longer afford to pay rent. He stopped going to uni while he desperately tried to find another job, as he had no skills what so ever. He tried in retail but there weren't a lot of stores looking for new employees as most were covered by students already. 

Dan went to the library to think because at least this was still free. He had one week to move out, no job and nowhere to go.The more he thought of the more his eyes welled up with tears. Even though he had his hoodie up trying to hide his misery, a guy sitting 2 desks away approached him and put a hand on his shoulder. 

“Hey, are you ok?” he took his hand away as Dan jumped in his chair, startled.

“Yes” whispered Dan. 

The boy seemed unconvinced, “look, I'm your classmate, I've seen you in the seminars and a few other classes. I know you don't talk to anyone but if you need help or someone to talk to, let me know. My name is Michael by the way” Michael offered his hand to Dan with a smile. 

“Thank you, I'm Dan” Dan took his hand giving him a sad smile as a tear fell down his cheek. He promptly wiped it away with his sleeve but Michael seemed worried about him.

“Tell me what's going on, maybe I can help”

“I don't think you can”

“I won’t insist if you don’t want to but, really, you never know, and I’m not one to judge people”

Dan observed the boy, he had hazel eyes, caramel skin, and big brown curls, he looked sincere and friendly, maybe this would be ok “I'm about to get evicted because I lost my shitty job, I was already having a hard time before that but I thought everything would be fine. I can't seem to find another job and even if I did, I - I need the money right now to avoid mo - moving and…” at that Dan started sobbing, trying to be as quiet as possible, he couldn't contain his anxiety anymore. 

“Hey, hey, come on, let's get you some coffee and we'll figure it out. Mikey is your new friend and he is here to help” Mike tried to give him a goofy smile as they picked their things up and walked out of the library. 

Dan was taking deep breaths to calm himself down.

“I hardly recognize you how can you be my friend? ” said Dan smiling sadly. 

“I was worried about you, you told me your problems and now we’re getting coffee, which I'm paying for, of course, so now you are my friend and you are stuck with me. Sorry, no return policy”.

“That's creepy and illegal” Dan laughed softly. 

“Go sit by the window, I'll get the coffee, what do you want?”

“Caramel macchiato, thank you”

“I should have guessed”. 

***

As they were drinking their coffee, Mike was silent, thinking of his friend Phil. He had mentioned wanting to help kids who didn't have a place to stay but he wasn't sure how to go about it yet because he worried about his safety, mostly because of his baby. So for now, they didn’t have any guests. 

“Thank you for taking an interest in my situation, we don't know each other, you didn’t have to do that”, said Dan breaking the silence.

Mike was startled, having been lost in thought, “No problem, you looked like you needed a friend. Now, let’s figure it out together, do you have anyone who can help you or that you can stay with?” he said seriously.

“No, I talked to my dad, he helped me with rent last month but he said he is not in a great financial situation right now so he had to use most of his savings for this and he doesn’t have enough for another month, so I need to leave before he gets in trouble for co-signing with me” he sighed and looked out the window.  
“I’m not currently speaking with my mom, we don’t have a good relationship and it’s bad for my mental health to stay in touch” his voice was shaking but he tried to take deep breaths, “I would consider finding a roommate but I need the money right now so that’s not an option” he finished. 

Dan felt like he couldn’t breathe, his anxiety was rising again. He had no one to turn to, no one.  
“I have no one” he whispered lost in thought. Tears fell down his cheeks but he didn’t seem to notice.

“Dan, we’ll figure it out, don’t worry. Let me think” Mike patted Dan’s hand over the table and gave him an encouraging smile.

Mike was heartbroken over Dan’s situation, he lived in a 2 bedroom flat with 5 other guys, he couldn’t afford to bring Dan for a few weeks and there was no actual place to put him in. His mind wandered to Phil again, it was better to check with him before telling Dan about it, so he texted him.

To Phil =) :  
Hey Phil, sorry to bother you at work, but I just found a classmate in the library and he has nowhere to go. He has to move out of his flat and he lost his job, are you still thinking about giving people a place to stay?

To Mike :3 :  
Hey “Bro”, no problem. I’m taking a break, I wanted to check on Winnie. And yes, do you know him? I mean, I would like to meet him and see if he can stay here, I want to make sure he is not going to kill me in my sleep, you know.

To Phil =) :  
What’s up with the “” on “Bro”, bro?, also yes, we haven’t spoken a lot but I have watched him all year, he has no friends and he just seems sad a lot. He never talks to anyone and he studies more than anyone else, he always answers the questions the professors make in every class we share.

To Mike :3 :  
:P I have the day off tomorrow, why don’t we all go out for coffee and talk, I want to see how he reacts to Winnie as well. I want to help people but I don’t want to endanger my child.

To Phil =) :  
Well great, let’s do that. See you at 5 in the Starbucks 3 blocks away from the library?

To Mike :3 :  
See you then 

Mike took a deep breath, everything was going to be fine


	5. A Bit Of Sunshine To Keep You Warm

Mike picked Dan up from his apartment to make sure he actually showed up. Dan hadn’t seem thrilled by the idea of meeting Phil for coffee, he only knew that Phil could possibly help him but Mike hadn’t given him any other information.

  
“In any case, you need to distract yourself from your problems or you’ll go mad” he had said. “Besides he understands the struggles of coming out, and you could use a friend”

Dan stopped dead in his tracks “What do you mean? Is he also gay?

“Well, he's bi, you are not biphobic right?”

“Of course not, what the fuck!? That’s not what I meant. I mean how do you know I’m gay, I’m not out to anyone from Uni”

“Oh… takes one to know one? I’m sorry that was an awful joke and I didn’t mean to assume, did I make it awkward? I’m not trying to offend you, I just make jokes and people who don’t know me sometimes don’t like my humor. I should be more careful with new people, damn” he rambled. 

“Wait, are you gay? I was just shocked, I didn’t think anyone knew” Dan laughed, “It’s fine, I just thought you were going to be a dick about it”

“Yes, I’m gay, and no, I’m not a dick, I’m just trying to help and to get you new friends”

“Thank you for being so great to me”

“That’s what friends are for” Mike smiled, elbowing Dan softly. 

***

When they bought their coffees and turned to look for Phil, Dan was surprised to see a handsome man with a baby in a push chair. He awed softly before looking away, he was probably with someone, there was no point in being a creep.  
‘What a dream life’ he thought, he hoped one day he could have a husband like that and a baby but he knew he would probably have neither.

“There he is!” said Mike pointing at the man with the baby.

Dan blushed slightly bugged eyed about the fact that he was about to sit at the same table with the hot guy and the cute child. He hoped he hadn't been caught staring.

“Hey Philly!” said Mike ruffling Phil’s hair. 

“Don’t call me Philly! and don’t ruin my hair!” Phil pouted.

“Hey Winnie!” he said softly touching her black curly hair.

Winnie looked at Mike and gave him a toothy smile.

“This is Dan, my friend”

“Nice to meet you Dan, I’m Phil”, said Phil extending his hand for a handshake.

Dan shook his hand “Nice to meet you, and who is this cutie?”

“This is my daughter Winnie”

They talked about Winnie and Dan asked a few questions while watching her every move. He was dying of happiness, he loved children and he never got a chance to play with any kids.

Phil sat her in his lap and even though she was drooling all over herself while eating a cookie, Dan looked at her adoringly.

“She is so precious”, he said smiling at her. Winnie offered a piece of gooey cookie to Dan after having watched him for a while. 

“For me? thank you!” Dan took the slobbered cookie piece and put it in a napkin trying to not make a disgusted face.

“You could have said you were not hungry” Phil laughed.

“I didn’t want to offend her, I’m not familiar with baby etiquette”, shrugged Dan. 

Mike had said very little since they had sat down, he was watching the interaction with careful eyes, it seemed like Dan was interested in Phil and Winnie equally. Who would have thought, maybe he had found Dan more than a temporary place to live. He liked to let his mind fly, he couldn’t help it, but in any case, time would tell.

Dan went to the bathroom and Mike took the opportunity to talk to Phil.

“What do you think? is he a murderer?”

“He seems really nice, I would love to help him, I just think it’s odd his family is not an option”

“He didn’t go into many details, but he said his father already used his savings on his rent and he couldn’t help him now. He doesn’t speak with his mother, he didn’t say why, other than it is not good for his mental health, but I think she is homophobic. he looked very distraught when talking about her and today when I mentioned him being gay he assumed I was going to be a dick, his words not mine”

“I think he could stay with us at least until he finds a job and can get his life sorted and try not to say those words in front of Winnie, she is babbling a lot now and may start repeating familiar words”

“Thanks man, I appreciate it and sorry!”

“It’s ok, just keep it in mind. I like to be of use, I just need to set up everything to be actually able to help young people in need and also have some sort of background checking or security so it can actually work. Maybe some counselling too. But that will take years to get done; for now, I can start with Dan”

Mike was about to say something when he saw Dan coming back.

Dan seemed a bit thoughtful.

“Dan, Mike told me a bit about your situation and I want to help”

Dan blushed, he felt very exposed but Mike said Phil could help him, that’s why he had told him.

“Really? what do you think I should do?”

“I think you should come to stay with me and Winnie. I actually want to set up a place to help people who might be in your situation but it will take some time. Maybe you can chip in with ideas. You don’t need to pay rent, and I will help you get another job, in the meantime, I'll cover the basics”.

“Oh, no no, I couldn’t possibly impose on you like that, and you have a baby, I don’t want to be a burden!!” said Dan leaning back from the table.

“Look, you don’t need to do it if you don’t want to, but Phil really wants to help, and you could also help him around the house or maybe with Winnie while he works”, said Mike putting his hand on Dan’s shoulder.

“You would leave your child with a stranger??!!” said Dan looking more alarmed by the second.

“Dan, I’m a video editor, I work from home so I would be there too, if I needed to go somewhere I’d take her with me, it’s just the 2 of us now, and you are not a stranger, Mike said you are a good person and I believe him”.

Dan was thinking so many things at the same time, he was happy about having an option to stay somewhere, glad he had a new friend, 2 apparently, conflicted about being a leech at Phil’s house and also excited at the prospect of being able to play with Winnie... plus the news of Phil being apparently single was also something to think about.

“Listen, you don’t have to answer right now but here’s my phone number, text me and we’ll help you move in if you want to, if you don’t, we’ll help you in any other way we can”, said Phil giving him a piece of paper.

“Ok, I’m sorry to be such a bother, I’ll think about it and call you tomorrow”

“Great, you have Mike’s number too right?”

“Yes he does, and I have his, we’ll be in touch with you Philly”

Dan looked at Mike slightly amused, he had really gotten the big prize with him, he was truly a character.

Winnie decided that she had had enough of the talking, the coffee place and everyone; she was getting fussy. 

“Well, guys, this was nice but I need to put Winnie down for a nap before dinner, I’ll be waiting for your text”. Phil said his goodbyes and left.

Mike clapped his hands loudly startling Dan “Well, come on, we have to make dinner, let’s go get something to cook”.

That night Dan went to bed in his apartment, still caught up in his problems but with a smile; he had finally felt what is what like to have friends, in the middle of all the drama. He had laughed with Mike, cooking and drinking wine, almost burning dinner and laughing to the verge of tears about all of Mike’s stories and he had promised to move in with Phil, at least temporarily. He should thank the universe for sending that guy to him, he was a life-saver... literally.  
Before he fell asleep, he sent the text that would change his life in ways he couldn’t imagine:

To Phil:  
It’s a yes from me. Talk to you tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have one more chapter pre-written, I'll post it tomorrow because I have friends over.  
> So, here's the tea Pham, I'm taking my last 3 finals to get my degree, I had to leave my house for a week because my family doesn't let me study and everything was chaos. I'll finish with my Uni stuff on December the 20th and I'll be free to write more chapters. I plan to finish this story as soon as possible because I really enjoy writing it, I'm quite proud of it. So far I have planned up to chapter 15, so it will take longer than I had originally planned.  
> Let me know what you thought


	6. New Beginings

Dan talked to his landlord. The man had been understanding and only charged him the rent of the month until the day he moved out. He even offered to help but Dan refused him; he told him his friends were coming to pick him up.

  
That weekend Phil showed up with Mike and Winnie. They brought groceries because they had decided they would celebrate the moving, cook dinner together, get to know each other better, set some ground rules and pack everything into boxes, all together, it was the busiest 2 days of his life up to that moment.

  
After the first day Dan asked Phil to take Winnie some place else, he was terrified she would get hurt in the death trap that was his flat. Phil was unsure but recognize that it was the safest option, so he called Louise, his coworker, they didn’t see each other face to face often as they worked from home but they had frequent skype calls and she had a little girl, so it was the best and the only option. Louise was happy to help, and her daughter, Darcy, was absolutely thrilled.  
  
On Sunday they took a few boxes containing Dan's belongings and his bed, they also picked Winnie up on the way the flat. According to Louise, she had cried a few times but other than that she played most of the day with Darcy and took naps.

  
Dan was glad he was moving to a decent flat, but most importantly he was glad he was moving into a building that had an actual elevator, if he would have had to carry his shit 19 floors up, he would have died.

  
When the doors of the elevator opened he was greeted by Phil and Winnie. “Welcome home Danny”, said Phil in a high pitched voice waving the baby’s hand.

  
“Aww, thanks Winnie, but remember not to call me Danny, my name is [Dan]”

  
Phil raised his eyebrows “What’s up with the [  ] ?” said Phil making the sign with his hands awkwardly as he was holding Winnie to his side.

  
“It’s like a tag, with my name on it, or a subtitle”

  
“I didn’t know we were going to need subtitles to understand you”. Phil turned to Winnie, “Do you think you will understand him without the subtitles until you learn how to read or is this a deal breaker for you?”

  
Winnie looked at her father and babbled what appeared to be a long string of words waving her little hands and then she blew some bubbles.

  
“She says that she approves of you, you are in”

  
“Are you going to let me out or not? I’ve pressed the button to keep the door open quite a few times” said Dan with a cheeky smile.

  
Mike came out from one of the apartments at the end of the hall and said “You guys show Dan around and I’ll take care of the boxes left”

  
“Well, come one Danny”, said Phil guiding him to the apartment.

  
“Don’t call me that!” whined Dan

  
“What? oh, that wasn’t me, that was Winnie”

  
“It didn’t sound like her” he pouted.

  
“You need to check your hearing then”, said Phil finally unlocking the door.

  
Dan was aghast. The flat was beautiful, with white painted walls and a lot of colourful details. It had 4 bedrooms, The biggest one was Phil’s, and right next to it was Winnie’s room, Dan’s room was down the hall and the fourth one served as an office.There was a breakfast bar, a cozy living room with a couch and a lot of windows, and even a balcony.

“Thank you again for inviting into your home, Phil, you are amazing”, he said looking into his eyes.

“That’s what they call me, "Amazing Phil". Now let’s put your things in your room” said Phil walking away.

“My room” whispered Dan with a smile.

 

***

  
Mike and Dan were able to put everything in Dan’s room, including his keyboard; it was a little cramped but he felt more at home than he ever had.

  
Phil was just finishing dinner when the boys came into the kitchen.

  
“What are we having, dad?” said Mike smirking.

  
“Don’t.Do.That, Mikey, you are 22, I’m not your dad. We are having pasta bolognese and Winnie is having pasta with some veggies” said Phil with feigned hostility.

  
“Poor Winnie, that’s awful” pouted Mike.

  
“Don’t be a child, she likes it because that’s what I give her. Babies accept most foods you give them because they are still developing and don’t have their own “tastes” yet”, he said matter of factly.

“Wow, you really seem to have the whole cooking thing down. I once set pasta on fire because I didn’t add water to the pot” said Dan.

“Oh my god” giggled Phil “When you have a child you need to learn. You can’t just give them pizza or even most homemade foods. It’s a whole thing, they can’t have flour for the first 6 months or honey for the first year”.

“Can we continue this riveting conversation while having dinner? I’m dying, I worked very hard today!” said Mike making little jumps changing his weight from one foot to the other.

Phil sighed, “Dan take a sit in the living room, Mike you get Winnie into her high chair and I’ll get the food on the table”

“Yes, sir”, said Mike banging his heels together and saluting.

Dan and Phil were left alone in the kitchen a little dumbfounded. “Where did you get him from?”, said Dan smiling incredulously.

“We went to high school together, now I can’t get rid of him”

“He said that he is my friend now and I’m stuck with him”

“Oh you are!, wait until…”

“Phiiiiiiiiiiiillllllllllll, I can’t take her out of the torture chamber, you didn’t say She was there, help meee” yelled Mike from the living room.

“Jesus! come on Dan, get the tray”

Phil walked to his child and got her into her chair. “It’s a baby gym, not a torture device and she loves it”

“Nobody loves the gym, Phil”, said Mike rolling his eyes.

“True” Dan smirked.

“She does, she will be a sporty girl, I can tell. That’s why she will be healthy and I won’t” said Phil smiling goofily, his tongue sticking a little out of his mouth.

They enjoyed the meal chatting and laughing about embarassing stories from their past, and after putting Winnie to bed, they watched Wall-e on the sofa.

Later that night Dan fell asleep with a smile on his lips. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to be sharing a flat with a new friend and his little family. He felt supported and liberated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, small break until Dec 21st.  
> There is a chance a could post a cheeky chapter if I decide to be naughty and write instead of studying for my finals, who knows.  
> Comments are appreciated.


	7. The Team

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have returned from the dead as an almighty lawyer; now I'm free to continue writing so I'll make sure to plan a schedule.

  
The first week went smoothly, Dan started going to class again and “The Team” as they called it, settled into a comfortable routine.  
Every day Dan returned home and helped Phil make dinner, trying to learn a bit more about cooking. While the food was on the stove they played with Winnie trying to teach her to speak or do something new.  
  
Dan was dreading continuing with his Uni life but relieved as well, as it was his only career plan. He continued searching for jobs but the class schedule, the papers he had to turn in, and the extra work he had to do to keep up with his classmates for missing 2 weeks was very exhausting. He resorted to online job applications which he filled after dinner every day.  
  
It was surprising sharing classes with Mike, now that Dan knew him outside of the insipid legal environment, it was absolutely hilarious to see him act all proper and serious. Dan wasn’t sure if Mike was the best actor in the world or if he just had split personality. At times when Mike would contribute to a topic during a seminar, Dan would find it hard not to burst out laughing just by picturing Mike trying to make a very deep political point about something while doing his whiny child act, shifting his weight from one foot to the other like a 2-year-old.  
  
Mike had asked Dan over coffee why was he staring so much and they both laughed as Dan explained. Apparently, Mike had decided at 18 that he was a full grown adult and tried to behave accordingly but after a few months of acting carefully all the time, he noticed life was absolutely boring, exhausting and sad. He decided then that he would be a serious and reliable person when needed, and he would enjoy his life when it wasn’t a career related situation or an emergency.    
As an example, he told Dan he could perfectly give a speech about the importance of human right treaties and then make a full impression of Barney with stupid voice and horrible dancing for Winnie.  
  
It was an interesting way of living, Dan thought, he could relate for the most part but he didn’t think it was such a great difference for him. Maybe it was because he was sad a lot that he didn’t have those childish moments, or maybe it as the fact he didn’t have any friends until recently with whom he could share his antics.  
  
They also talked about how Dan was feeling with his new living arrangements, sharing a house with a new person and a baby, especially since Dan had a crush on Phil. Dan spat his coffee all over his jeans and had a coughing fit after Mike mentioned that, after all, Dan hadn’t admitted to no such thing.  
He answered explaining how comfortable he felt living with Phil and Winnie and he mentioned they called themselves “The team” because of how they split the chores and manage to work together so well. Mike had listened in silence only raising his eyebrows at the group name. Dan didn’t question him but Mike was not a quiet person, so he knew he was definitely reserving his opinion on the matter.  
  
As they said their goodbyes, Dan thought he had escaped the interrogation about his feelings safely, but as they were walking in separate ways Mike yelled “Hey Dan, remember to invite me to the wedding!”, then he turned around and kept walking without waiting for an answer. Dan stood there in shock watching him walk away as passers-by looked between the two of them. 'If only', Dan thought.  
  
***  
  
On Saturday Phil slept in because Winnie had woke him up during the night, so Dan decided to make breakfast for all of them. He knew Phil gave Winnie something solid for breakfast and he decided to go with pancakes as he knew they were "Phil approved" and he knew where the recipe was, (thankfully Phil didn’t mind the incessant questions from Dan about everything Winnie related). Dan made the banana protein pancakes while the tutorial was playing over and over and he also made coffee and British pancakes for Phil and himself.  
  
After everything was settled and decorated he knocked on Phil’s door. After 2 minutes without an answer he tried again and he heard a groan from the other side.  
  
“Come in” Phil croaked.  
  
“Hi, sorry to wake you up", said Dan peeking into the room "but it’s 10 already and I know Winnie has her breakfast around this time." He said finally entering, "I made pancakes for all of us”, said Dan trying to make out Phil’s figure on the bed but the bedroom was too dark compared to the rest of the house.  
  
“Really?! Oh my gosh, Dan! Thank you!! I will love you forever and ever I swear!” said Phil happily as he jumped out of bed and gave Dan a hug.  
  
Dan’s eyes were getting used to the dim light when Phil got out of bed and he was surprised to see he was only wearing boxers but he didn’t have time to react before Phil was hugging him tightly. His crush was hugging him… half naked… and he said he would love him forever.  
Even if he knew it was just only an expression, Dan couldn’t control the blush that was creeping up his neck. He knew he looked like a tomato so he was trying to plan his emergency exit when Phil said “I’m going to wake her up, I’m so hungry! thank you!” as he left without looking back.  
  
When Dan had composed himself in the bathroom, he went to the living room. He found Phil in his cookie monster pajamas and Winnie in a pink bear onesie. They had a lovely breakfast together. Phil explained Winnie that Dan had made her the banana pancakes and decorated them with blueberries and strawberries because Phil had mentioned she loved them.  
Dan didn’t know if a 9-month-old could understand that much but Phil insisted that speech and intelligence were influenced by the environment in which the child developed, so he explained everything to her and asked her questions even though she couldn’t say a word yet. Whether this was actually true or not Dan didn't care because he found it adorable, so he started doing it as well.  
  
On Sunday Phil was working on the couch so he could watch Dan and Winnie play. Phil could tell he wanted to take her out of her baby gym but didn’t know if it was ok, so he told him to put her on her play mat.  
He watched as Dan picked her up carefully and hugged for a few seconds looking at her little face as Winnie gave him a big smile and grabbed one of his curls. Dan's face lighted up in a way Phil had never seen, then he placed her on the mat and they continued playing with the different textures and attachments the mat had while Dan named everything for her.  
  
Phil hadn’t felt butterflies in his stomach since Allison had kissed him for the first time at a party a little over a year ago. He wondered if this feeling would fade like his feelings for her had.  
  
Dan interrupted Phil’s train of thought asking if he could start reading “Winnie The Pooh” to her at night so she can have more pleasant dreams. Phil agreed and later that night he takes a picture of Dan asleep with the book on his lap, sitting in the rocking chair by the crib, holding onto Winnie’s little hand between the bars. He sent the picture to Mike who only answered with “Aaaawww <3”.  
  
Phil woke Dan up gently and told him to go to bed but only after taking another picture, this time it was only of Dan asleep, looking like a soft teddy himself.  
  
Phil went to his bedroom and stayed awake watching the pictures he took and smiling like a goof.  
  
Down the hall, Dan got into his bed with a smile on his lips and thought about this weekend. He had enjoyed it quite a bit, so he decided he would make breakfast every weekend for his 2 favorite people.  
  
In a small flat across town, Mike stayed awake thinking about his friends. He would love for them to fall in love, after all, they were both good people and they seemed to click right from the start, but he only hoped they were careful for all of their sakes.


	8. Winnie Lester, Good Suggestion.

Dan had stuck to his plan and made breakfast every weekend.   
They would watch “Buffy” while eating on the couch. That was Phil’s condition to allow Dan to make breakfast for everyone as he had never seen the show.   
Phil had insisted they follow the episode order list made by Joss Whedon, the creator of the series, which included all the “Buffy” and “Angel” episodes.   
  
By the fifth weekend of Buffy Marathons, they had to switch to “Angel” because the stories interlinked. Dan was amazed by the Universe so he wanted to binge-watch the series as much as he could. Phil was more than happy to oblige because it was his favourite show, it had played an important role in his teen years and even in his adult life as a source of comfort from stress.  
  
About a month after they started their little project, Dan heard Fred’s name for the first time and he was a little curious.   
  
“I love that there are witches, zombies, demons and every creature out there in this show but the names are quite common. I like the fact that Fred is a girl though, that’s creative”, said Dan excitedly, turning to his side so he was sitting facing Phil on the couch.  
  
“That’s not her entire name, you know”, said Phil smirking, knowing that Dan had not figured it out yet.   
  
“What’s her full name then?”   
  
“Winifred Burkle”, said Phil smiling and watching Dan’s expectantly.  
  
“Winifred”, said Dan stupefied, “Wini...Fred, Winifred” repeated Dan slowly, processing the information he just heard. “PHILIP LESTER YOU NAMED YOUR CHILD AFTER A BUFFY CHARACTER, OH MY GOD!”, Shrieked Dan slapping Phil on the shoulder, then he started laughing.  
  
“What?! Firstly, she is an "Angel" character, secondly, she is a very intelligent woman, a fighter and a sweet person. I think those are good qualities for role model”, said Phil smiling, “And Winnie can choose to go by Winnie or Fred when she grows up, plus her middle name is Hope so she can choose that as well; I’m a nerd but I’m not cruel, I’m giving her options. Besides Growing up watching Buffy I think she’ll love her name. And I could have named her Willow, but I thought that was very 60's”  
  
“And here I was thinking you loved Winnie the Pooh like me”, said Dan incredulously.   
  
“That’s intentional, I spell Winnie with “two Ns” and “ie” because she is my little bear, but that’s just her nickname.  
  
“That’s very sweet... and geeky as well”, said Dan smiling Sweetly.  
  
***  
  
That night Dan was setting the table while Phil was finishing cooking and he couldn’t help noticing that Phil had never mentioned Winnie’s mum, not even in the conversation about the name.   
  
He wondered what could have happened. After all, Winnie had Phil’s crystal blue eyes and pale skin, the only difference was the black curly hair, there was no doubt it was his child, but who was the mother? He was dying to know but at the same time that it was such an insensitive question, he couldn’t ask if Phil had Winnie via surrogate or if the mother died, so he was trying to figure out how to bring it up gently.  
  
He decided he was going to start talking about his love life, or lack thereof and ask about occasional flings he might have. It was also a good way to fish for some information on what Phil's status was in a deeper way than him mentioning “It’s only just the two of us now”.  
  
Having finished dinner and with Winnie already asleep, they sat on the couch trying to figure out what to do next; after a few minutes of comfortable silence, Dan decided it was as good a time as any to broach the topic.  
  
“Phil…” said Dan trying to catch Phil’s attention.  
  
“Hmm?” Phil looked at Dan waiting for him to continue.  
  
“I was wondering, I know you said this is my house as much as yours and everything but I still would like to know if it was ok to bring people over, because, well… our friendship is still new and also there’s Winnie, of course, so I just needed to clear things up first, you know?”, Dan rambled.  
  
“Hmm? Bringing people over for what? study?, I mean of course, if you need to bring classmates a few hours to study for finals or something I would have no problem”, said Phil trying to figure out where Dan was going with this, he didn’t like to think of Dan sharing hours and hours studying with other people but he didn’t quite understand why.  
  
“No! well yes, that too, but I meant if I was seeing someone, I mean would you mind? would it be too much to bring them over?” Dan asked biting his lip and looking at Phil for a reaction.  
  
Phil turned to Dan frowning, his usual smile was nowhere to be seen, he looked upset, angry even, “Are you dating someone?” he said in a clipped tone.  
  
“No, not at all, I was asking in case the opportunity presented itself, you know, I wanted to know where we stand”  
  
Phil’s face relaxed a little “Well… as I said I don’t mind you bringing people over to study as long as you know who they are. You know, pay attention to things they do that might be off and let me know when you have a study session so I keep Winnie in the office with me. But I would really prefer it if you didn’t bring hookups to our house because it would be potentially unsafe for all of us. I don’t do that kind of thing so I would ask you to do the same”, Phil smiled a bit trying to cheer the mood a little bit “besides, I wouldn’t want to see any of that” he winked.  
  
Dan noticed Phil’s smile was pained and awkward ‘Interesting’, he thought, ‘I’ll have to figure out what that means’.   
  
“Ha-ha, don’t be mean. I mean, I get it, I’ll keep it out of the house if it comes to it” Dan said.  
  
“Are you looking for hookups?”, Phil asked trying to look less awkward than he was feeling.  
  
“I never look for hookups they just happen” Dan saw Phil’s face transform into the coldest dead stare he had ever seen, he knew then, that was definitely the wrong thing to say, so he continued, “It doesn’t happen often or anything and I haven’t been with anyone in a looong time. Also, I’m not looking for anyone, you know, I would love to be in a relationship but I guess I just haven’t met the right person”    
  
Phil sighed softly, he was not coping well with this conversation. He didn’t understand why he was so jealous of Dan. He felt sick at the mere thought of Dan having a one night stand or several, or even a relationship with someone else. He knew he found Dan attractive but he hadn’t realized just how deep his feelings for Dan went, it didn't seem like this was just a crush. But one thing he was sure of, he needed to stop this attitude towards Dan because Dan wasn’t his. ‘He is not mine’, he thought.   
  
Suddenly he felt exhausted. His shoulders sagged.  
“I thought I had met the right person, but it wasn’t the case. The relationship was new and we encountered a few tests that some relationships just can’t pass, so we split” Said Phil looking up.  
Dan was listening with his lips parted, “Are you…?”, he cleared his throat, “Are you referring to Winnie’s…erm”   
  
“Yes, I’m talking about Winnie’s mum. Allison, that’s her name. We were too young to be parents and in a new relationship, as I said. We thought we could make it together, but she couldn’t”, Phil’s eyes watered and his voice trembled but he continued “In the lasts months of the pregnancy she tried to convince me to give our baby up for adoption, but I couldn’t, Dan, I just couldn’t. I was already in love with her”  
  
“Hey, it’s ok”, said Dan holding Phil’s hand and offering him a small smile.  
  
Phil smiled back, he took a deep breath “Thank you”, he sighed and continued, “We had several conversations and a huge fight but in the end, we decided I was getting full custody and she was moving to her parent’s house to figure out what she wanted to do with her life. Those were her words and that really hurt me, she didn’t even consider staying in touch with Winnie. Part of me was happy because I was so mad I wanted Winnie just for myself so no one could hurt her by making her feel unwanted. But I also felt so sad that her mother wouldn’t want to be in her life, to watch her grow, even if she didn’t live with us.  
  
I had to ask myself what was I going to tell my daughter when she asked why her mother was not here and I decided to tell her what is ultimately the truth, that her mother wanted the best for her even though she couldn’t be here so she left her with me to grow up in a loving family”, finished Phil looking down at his and Dan’s hands still entwined on his leg. He felt like he had been hit by a train, he felt drained.  
  
“Hey, you are a great dad, you know”, said Dan  
  
“I hope so, I tried very hard, I read a lot of books, I still do. I Watch videos on parenting, I do as much I can to be the best dad I can be but I also take care of myself because I need to be healthy and stable to be able to be there for her when she needs me. She is my number one priority, not my love life. That’s partly why I’m alone, everything else comes second” said Phil  
  
“I agree, you must take care of yourself and she must come first to everything. I’m so glad you are a responsible dad, Winnie is so lucky”, Dan said patting his hand.  
  
“Thank you for thinking so highly of me”, smirked Phil.  
  
“I want to help as much as I can, I love Winnie, I’m her number 1 fan”, Dan smiled brightly.  
  
“I’m number 1, and you can fight Mike for number 2”, said Phil smiling with his tongue peeking out of his mouth. “Hey, do you wanna watch a movie? something not too long because I’m half dead already”  
  
“Sleepless in Seattle?”, said Dan thoughtfully.  
  
“Ok, I didn’t peg you for a romantic, Howell. I’ll bring a blanket so it’s cosier”, Phil walked to his bedroom to retrieve his comforter.  
  
Nearing the end of the movie dan had fallen asleep surrounded by one of Phil's arms and the comforter that smelled just like him.  
  
Phil finished watching the movie and he took the occasional look at Dan, who was softly snoring. Phil wondered if his and Dan's friendship would always remain the same or if it would progress to a relationship. He couldn’t help to think about the movie and how Meg Ryan had seemed destined to complete Tom Hanks’ family. Maybe Dan would be his Meg Ryan, but only time would tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I haven't been able to put a day in the week to update, so I'll stick to an update per week/ week and a half so I can actually stick to it.  
> Happy New Year!


	9. Sashay Shantay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my lovely @artlessdynamite on tumblr aka Mariana for beign my beta for this chapter.  
> Read the author notes at the ned to get any references you might have missed.

  
It was Friday afternoon and to start the weekend on a good note Dan and Phil decided to play Mario Kart. As with most things in life, Phil wanted to make it more interesting by adding a forfeit.  
  
After a long debate, they agreed the loser would answer a question truthfully, no matter what the question was.  
Phil had not suggested this innocently; he noticed Dan was very open about most things in life but he was very guarded about his family, his past relationships and his life goals. After living with Dan for almost 2 months, he still didn’t know a lot about his past life and he was eager to learn everything there was to know about Dan but he wasn’t offering any information.  
  
What Phil didn't count on was Dan winning most of the rounds, so he tried his best to distract him by tickling him. At first,  it didn’t actually work even though they both laughed. But then Phil blew air at Dan’s face and heard him gasp. He took this opportunity to surpass him but he only managed to get second place.  
  
He tried again and noticed that Dan shivered when Phil blew a little lower than his ear. Apparently, Dan had a sensitive neck. Phil managed to stay on Dan’s tail but when they were on the last lap he got a mushroom and he made his move. He caressed Dan’s neck softly, making the other squirm and make a breathy sound, nearing on a moan.  
  
Phil’s eyes went wide but his need for information made him keep going while still trying to have access to Dan’s neck. He won, and finally got his forfeit.  
  
“Ok Danny, it’s time you tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god”, said Phil mockingly.  
  
“Ha-ha, firstly, you are a cheater, and secondly that is for sworn testimonies in America”  
  
“I swear I don’t know what you are talking about, Daniel. Now, I want to know more about you. I feel like we haven’t gotten to know each other well enough in the time we have been roommates”  
  
 “How well do you want to know me?", said Dan smirking. “What do you want to know exactly? ask away”  
  
“Well, I don’t know, give me the basics, for example, you haven’t told me anything about your childhood, or your birthday, or your favourite colour”, said Phil thoughtfully, trying his best to ignore Dan’s flirty attitude.  
  
“Ok. Basics”, stalled Dan thinking where to start. “My middle name is James, after my father. My favourite colour is black and my birthday is on June 11th”, he said listing each fact with one finger.  
  
“So you are a Gemini, James!” said Phil giggling. “Wait, you said June 11th?! that’s tomorrow! Why didn’t you say anything?!, asked Phil frowning.  
  
“Look, it’s not a big deal. I never celebrate my birthday, I only do birthday breakfasts. And tomorrow is Saturday, so we will be having breakfast together anyway, so that’s settled” he sighed.  
  
“No, no! we need to throw a party! we could at least invite Mike over to have breakfast with us and he could spend the day!”  
  
“Ok, we can have Mike over and do a small celebration, but I have two requests”  
  
“Sure”  
  
“I want it to be just us for breakfast. I can’t deal with a lot of people in the morning and I want to have a quiet time, play with Winnie and watch some anime. Then we can have lunch with Mike and play video games or watch movies or something”  
  
“Ok, just us for breakfast”  
  
Dan was staring at the screen, he seemed to be miles away.  
  
“Dan?”, he tried to get his attention.  
  
“mmmmhh?”  
  
“What about your childhood, your family. Can you tell me about that?” Phil asked cautiously.  
  
Dan turned back to Phil, “Ummm, ok. This is not something I like to talk about but I feel like you are already my best friend, so to make a long story short, I don’t speak to my mum, ever. I Don't take her calls if I can help it.  
  
I only speak to my dad, but not a lot; I feel like we never clicked, especially after they got divorced. He is a nice guy, but I consider him more of a friend that is occasionally there for me than a father.  
  
The thing with my mum is, she supported me when I came out, but she has weird views of some parts of the LGBT community. It’s like she is a supporter but also she is not” said Dan sadly.  
  
Phil took Dan’s hands in his own. “I get it, Something similar happened to me as well. That’s why even though I love my parents and they are mostly great, we are not talking. They don’t approve of some aspects of my life”, he looked into Dan’s eyes and saw the same sadness he felt. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked”  
  
“It’s ok. At some point it was going to come up, I just don’t like to  think about it. My birthday is always difficult for me so I just avoid thinking about her in any way I can. I’m glad I get to share it with you and Winnie though, thank you”, Dan smiled softly with the sadness not yet leaving his expression.  
  
“Hey, that’s what friends are for", said Phil giving him a small smile. “Do you want to play another round?”  
  
“Nah, I think I’ll rest for a bit before dinner. Movie afterwards?”  
  
“Deal, see you later”, said Phil.  
  
Dan went to his bedroom and threw himself on the bed sighing. His life was so much better now, at least thinking of the past made him see everything he had now in comparison.  
  
***  
  
Phil was examining his work on a magnifying mirror while listening to some classics on his laptop. His eyebrows looked good so far, but he really needed to learn to cover them and draw them higher if he wanted to achieve a more professional look.  
  
Winnie was sitting against his pillow playing with a stuffed cow, or eating it actually. She kept looking at him while he was doing his makeup, probably because of the unusual colours he was wearing.  
  
He preferred to work on his skills when she was sleeping because he felt like he needed to concentrate, but not this time. He had missed this so much, but lately he hadn’t gotten the time to work on his art as he was easily distracted by Dan.  
  
Today’s conversation had reminded him of his love for Drag and how much he felt like it was a part of him. He briefly wondered if he was losing himself a little by giving Dan so much attention, but he decided that it was not a bad thing to focus on someone else for a little while. He was not obsessed, just focused on him, but he would make sure to keep doing his own activities as he always did.  
  
Phil continued to work on his Navy blue smokey eye. He was very happy with how the look was coming together. He just needed to blend it a bit more, add some lashes and lipstick. He checked the time and decided to hurry so he could take some nice pictures and remove everything before dinner time.  
  
Once he was done with eyeshadow, he looked around searching for the eyelash glue, but he couldn’t find it.  He got up and started to rummage the room.  
  
The next song came in and he absentmindedly started to sing.

 _“You better wooork. CoverGirl! Work it Girl, give a twirl! Do your thing-on-the-runway!”_  
  
Dan was walking down the hallway when he heard music coming from Phil’s room and saw the door was ajar. He wasn’t going to peek but the closer he got, the more familiar it sounded.  
  
He looked inside and smiled when he saw Phil singing softly at Winnie, and then he saw what he was holding: a pair of falsies that he was using as a microphone and blowing on the glue occasionally. He felt so excited he just opened the door and joined the singing.  
  
_“And it don’t matter what you dooo, cause everything looks good on yoouuuu! Supermodel!”_  
  
Phil jumped back, not having heard Dan and almost dropped his lashes. Almost.  
  
Dan, being able to finally see Phil’s face, was surprised but also shocked at his skills. He hadn’t had the time to learn how to do a proper smokey eye. Also, Phil looked even hotter with makeup and Dan considered that unfair. Life was hard as it was, Phil didn’t need a boost. Especially the black winged liner; it just made his eyes pop up more.  
  
“OH MY GOD, PHIL! why didn’t you mention you can do a smokey eye! I’m shit at it, will you pleeeease teach me?!”, whined Dan.  
  
Phil was bracing himself for an awkward joke from Dan, or maybe for him to pretend he never saw anything, but he didn't see this coming.  
  
“Uuumm, yeah, ok” Phil checked his lashes and put them on easily. He needed to think what he was going to say, so he grabbed the other lash, applied the glue and started blowing.  
  
“So, how long have you been into makeup?”, Phil asked applying his lash in 3 movements.  
  
Dan was amazed. Lashes were not his thing either, it took him like half an hour to properly place them and sometimes he ruined his makeup with the glue.  
  
“Well, ever since I saw Ru on an old video with Elton John, they were role-playing as prominent historical characters and she looked amazing in every look. I thought maybe some say I could do something like that on others or on myself. I googled everything about Ru, about makeup, about Drag Queens… I honestly fell in love with it all”  
  
Phil was very excited to hear this, not only because Dan had not shamed him for wearing makeup, but also because he wanted Phil to teach him and this was the first time Dan had actually volunteered information about his past.  
  
“I’ll teach you everything I know, don’t worry. Of course, I don’t get to do my makeup often and I haven’t taken makeup classes so I don’t know how much I can actually help you improve”, said Phil thoughtfully.  
  
“You know a lot more than me, trust me”, smiled Dan. “I’m sorry I came in without knocking, by the way, that was rude of me”, said Dan biting his lip.  
  
“It’s ok, just don’t do it again, please. We all need our privacy”  
  
Dan tried hard not to read to much into that “Of course. Should we start dinner?”  
  
“Yes, let’s go” Phil turned around to pick up Winnie only to find that she had gotten down from the bed and was currently chewing on his biggest powder brush.  
“Aaaaaaah!” he yelped quickly removing the brush from her hand.  
  
Dan laughed for a second until Winnie started crying.  
  
“Oh no, baby, come on. Daddy didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just that brushes are not for eating. I’m so sorry” Phil said rubbing circles on her back, he was feeling upset as well for making his baby cry.  
  
Dan decided to try to cheer Winnie up. “Hey, Winnie, look!”  
said Dan waving the stuffed cow at Winnie with the biggest smile he could manage and extending his arms to her. The baby instantly went to him and hugged him tightly sniffing.  
  
“Thanks, Dan”, he sighed. “I’ll start dinner.”  
  
“Come on, girl”, said Dan kissing Winnie’s curls. “Let’s go help dad with dinner”  
  
***  
  
The next Day, Dan woke up to a Bouncy Phil on his bed. Smiling like a looney and a very giggly Winnie patting his face.  
Phil sang him Happy Birthday while Winnie sang her own tune crushing her little face to his chest. They all applaud when Phil finished the song.  
  
“Thank you so much!” Dan smiled “This is the best birthday ever, guys!”, he said hugging Winnie.  
  
“Well, come on. Breakfast is ready and we are hungry!”  
  
“Wow, you guys go, give me a minute. I need to get dressed”  
  
They enjoyed a peaceful breakfast, and just as they finished cleaning up, the bell rang. Phil smiled and told Dan to get it.  
  
Dan opened the door only to find himself unable to breathe, he felt like he was being smothered by a Giant Boa, but it was only Mike trying to make him expel his lungs.  
  
“Birthday Boy!! Why didn’t you tell me? I saw you on Friday and you said you had no plans for the weekend!” he asked pretending to be mad, but not doing a great job at hiding a smile.  
  
“At that time I HAD no plans for the weekend. Phil insisted on celebrating”  
  
“Well, good. Today we are celebrating you. Now, where’s the food?”  
  
“I’m sorry Mikey, we are all out of food”  
  
“At least you are not All Out Of Love”  
  
“I hate you. Phil’s in the kitchen, come on”.  
  
Phil was stirring Mexican food and Winnie was Playing on her high chair with some geometric toys.  
“Winniiiieeee! look who’s here! It’s your favourite uncle, Mike!” said, Mike kneeling on the floor to be a little below her height.  
Winnie smiled and grabbed his nose.  
  
“Oooh, Watch out Winnie, that’s a big nose you have there, if you take it from him, his entire face will be a hole”, Phil smirked.  
  
“Let’s not talk about holes in front of your child, Phil”, Said Mike crossing his arms.  
  
***  
  
They ate pasta and watched Winnie the Pooh. When baby Winnie retired to take a nap, they switched to video games and Dan destroyed them both.  So he demanded they got ice cream to celebrate his victory.  
It was the best birthday Dan remembered having.  
  
Mike decided to stay for dinner and cook something simple while Dan and Phil searched for a movie to watch.  
Cooking something simple apparently meant ordering Chinese. It was a good thing there were leftovers because Mike did not know 10 month olds didn’t eat greasy food.  
  
They were deciding on a movie to watch when the phone rang, and Phil picked up.  
  
“Hello?”  
  
Dan watched him a little confused as to who it could be on a Saturday night.  
  
Phil turned around a locked eyes with Dan.  
  
“Who is it?” whispered Dan.  
  
“Just a moment, please. I’ll check is he is at home”  
  
Phil muted the phone.  
  
“It’s your mum”, said Phil pursing his lips

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: Sashay Shantay is something Rupaul has been saying for years. It is currently used in Rupaul's Drag Race to say who was eliminated (Sashay away) and who stays (Shatay you stay).
> 
> The Song Phil was signing: Supermodel by our lord and saviour Rupaul. (Dan then continued the lyric, a few verses later because that's the time it got him to creep into the bedroom)
> 
> All out of love: An Air Suply song, very cheesy, very gay imo.  
> Sorry this took me a bit more time I was conting on, I'm a game marker for the (mini) Phandom Games on tumblr, and now I'm also a Phandom Reverse Bang admin also on tumblr. We are currently organizing both events. (Yes the pbr will happen again soon, very very soon, so it doesn't clash with other writing event or the main summer games).  
> See you in the next chapter. Follow my writing blog on @succubusphan on tumblr.

**Author's Note:**

> My writing blog is succubusphan.tumblr.com, I haven't been posting on it because it's my sideblog and I only post fics there, and i was busy. I just finished Uni so I can write as much as I want which is great because I have 4 stories planned as collabs with a friend who is doing Art for them. Look forward to it if you like history and mythology.  
> Note: This fic is also available on tumblr as of January 3rd 2018
> 
> Thank you for reading. X


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